My child isn’t going to school
It rarely starts as refusal. It starts as a stomach ache. A child who can’t get out of the car. A morning that takes two hours and ends with everyone in tears. Then a day off. Then a week. Then the letters arrive, and suddenly you are the problem.
You are not the problem. And your child is certainly not the problem — they are telling you that things have got too difficult for them, and their nervous system can’t take it any more.
It affects the whole family
It doesn't only affect your child. Mornings set the tone for the whole day. You're juggling work, messages from school, and brothers or sisters who are getting less of you than they need. Arguments start over things that never used to matter. You stop making plans, because you can't predict what tomorrow will look like.
Somewhere along the way, you lose your bearings. You've tried everything you can think of and taken advice from everyone who offered it. Now you're no longer sure what's helping and what's making things worse. It doesn't happen all at once. It creeps up a little more each week, until the whole family feels caught in it.
That's where we start. Not with a quick fix, but with a plan that takes the pressure off and breaks the cycle. Then we help you rebuild, one step at a time: your child's relationship with learning, your routines at home, and your own confidence that you know what to do next.
What happens in your first fortnight
We talk. We'll look at the details: what has gone wrong, the sensory environment, what the school is doing, which teachers your child feels safe with, whether demand avoidance is part of the picture.
You get a plan. What to say to the school and in what order. What to put in writing. What you are entitled to ask for. And, just as importantly, what to stop doing.
I bring in whoever it needs. A former head teacher who can negotiate directly with the school on your behalf. A senior SENCO who can draft the letter for you, and tell you exactly what to say at your next school meeting. You'll know what it costs before anything happens.
Being honest about this…
When a child reaches the point where they can't go in, they are very often in burnout. Recovery from that takes time, and anyone promising you a quick fix is selling something.
What we can do is support the whole family through it: help your child back into learning in a way and at a time that's right for them, and help you manage the considerable stress that lands on everyone at home.
Get in contact
In this situation the £50 membership is usually the right one, because the email support is more intensive. You can step down to £14.95 when things feel more manageable.